a letter to my boys

To my boys,

If you find this when you're older, I want you to know what I was trying to tell you all along.

Your dad is a funeral director. He's also a singer. He's also a guy who built a community of people who refuse to flinch when life gets hard.

But underneath all of that, your dad is a man trying to figure out how to be the kind of person you can be proud of.

Here's what I want you to remember.

Feel anything. Feel everything. Feel the things people tell you not to feel. The relief that comes with hard endings. The grief that comes years after you thought you were done. The joy that catches you off guard. The anger you're not supposed to admit to.

Don't be a man who feels nothing. Be a man who feels everything and shows up anyway.

When somebody you love dies, the world will tell you to be strong. Don't listen. Be honest. Strong is easy. Honest is hard.

When somebody trusts you with something hard, stay in the room. Don't fix it. Don't make it about you. Just stay.

Read books that change your mind. Listen to songs that make you cry in your car. Keep one friend who tells you the truth even when it costs them.

Pick a person and pick them every day. Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice you make again on Wednesday morning when you didn't sleep and you're not in love with anybody.

Your kids will watch you more than they listen to you. So mostly, just be the version of yourself you want them to copy.

Don't be the man who tries to be the strongest in the room. Be the man who's still in the room when everyone else has left.

I have failed at most of these. I will keep failing. That's okay. The goal isn't to do it perfectly. The goal is to keep trying.

The world told me to be a man who didn't feel anything. The world was wrong.

Feel anything.

I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so lucky I get to be your dad.

Dad.

P.S. If you read this and it made you think of someone you love, reply and tell me one thing you'd write to them. I read every reply.