the question nobody asks at funerals

People ask me all the time what the hardest part of funeral service is.

It's not the cases you'd think. It's not the children or the accidents or the ones where the family falls apart in the lobby.

The hardest part is the question nobody asks.

Is it okay that I feel relieved?

I hear it in parking lots after viewings. In phone calls at 11 PM. In emails from strangers who found me on the internet. People carrying the guilt of being glad it's over, because the person they loved was suffering, and the suffering is finally done, and they don't know what to do with the silence.

Yes. It's okay.

Relief doesn't mean you didn't love them. It means you were carrying something heavy and your body finally set it down. Grief and relief aren't opposites. They're roommates. They share a wall and they both keep you up at night.

Nobody gives you permission to feel that. Not the minister. Not your family. Not the counselor. Not the internet.

So I'm giving it to you now.

Feel the relief. Feel the grief. Feel both at the same time if that's what's true. The goal isn't to feel the right thing. The goal is to feel the real thing.

That's what I built The Mortals around. A room where nobody tells you what you're supposed to feel. You just feel it, and other people stay in the room with you while you do.

Tuesday nights. 8 PM Eastern. The livestream is free on YouTube. The community is where it goes deeper.

Join The Mortals

If it's not for you, leave. No guilt trip. No follow-up begging you back.

P.S. My new single "Just Me, Just You" comes out June 5. It's a song about showing up for the people who matter most, even when you don't have the words. Pre-save it here: https://laylo.com/nathanmorris/VWYZ2m